After so many years in the corporate world, working for big business, I just loved working in real estate. I love that I can do a job that focuses solely on impacting a family or an individual throughout one of the biggest decisions and milestones of their lives. It’s personal. It’s rewarding internally. But it’s also highly competitive – bringing out a not so pretty side to people working in the business at times.
I just completed a bible study on Psalms 119. In the midst of David’s trouble – almost a bipolar reaction to God, He praises the Lord and thanks him for help – then cries out for help, over an over again throughout this Psalm. So in one of the texts, where David appears to be in a troubled state he says, “The Lord is my Portion.”
In pondering what this text means, I felt a relation yesterday on the subject of real estate that tugged at my insides. A friend tagged me in a social media post, in response to a neighbor that was looking for referrals for a good real estate agent. Throughout the day I continued to get updates on this post. I’m still getting them even today. I mean, there must be hundreds of responses – most of them are not referrals but instead are agents leaving remarks in attempt to sell themselves to this lady. It looked like a pool of desperation sounding off the plea “pick me! pick me!” And, as I read through the comments, I felt guilty. I felt almost ashamed of what I do for a living – to be in the mix of a game we play in kicking down the little guy to gain more for myself. I thought about all of the success I’ve had in the past, in this extremely competitive industry that honestly seemed to come pretty easy for me – and I thought about all of those that were struggling just to catch a crumb dropped on the floor. In the book of Mark, a lady wanted the Lord’s help and he said “it’s not right to take the children’s food and toss it to the dogs”. She replied, “Yes Lord but even the dogs get to eat of the crumbs they drop on the floor.”
Even in my current state of struggle, (sometimes feeling like it’s my turn to be a dog on the floor searching for crumbs), I felt myself silently cheering for the little guys as I read that post yesterday. I know the big names – I’ve worked many deals with the same real estate agents over and over that hold most of the market share in our area. And yes, they were there too, (with a I’m better than everyone else attitude), pridefully stating claims of their success in a sales pitch to this woman. I felt the compassion of the Lord, who granted that woman her wish for her daughter to be healed in the text of Mark. And I secretly wanted to say, “Give this one a try – she will work hard for you because she really needs the business.” But, that’s just not how our world works – ran by the prince of the air. Success is a perception that breeds more success. And it’s not always based on skill or ability – many times its just based on perception alone. Some of the best agents I’ve worked with – I’m talking agents that bent over backwards for their clients, never make it to the top of the charts. While other agents that hardly find time to return phone calls are sitting on a mountain of success. And I’m seeing both sides of this with a little bit of sadness – yet realizing again that all of things are purposed.
What if removal from the successors is a blessing in disguise? What if Paul spoke of his understanding in what it means to have plenty and what it means to have nothing, as a qualifier that gave him knowledge on his ability to endure – doing all things through Christ who strengthens him? What if we have to experience being a dog under the table, begging for crumbs in order to understand the desperation of that woman who pleaded with Jesus for his help? What if humility is a building block for compassion?
And I ask myself today, if everything I have is removed from me in this world, where my portion once seemed plenty, is Jesus enough? Can I see through the stress and fear and worry like David did and lay down my troubles with Joy in my heart saying, “The LORD is my portion.”
This place is so centered on the object of money and success – acquiring treasures of the here and now. And we don’t know what we do. But in the essence of truth, I’ve found great sorrow in my own heart – repentance for all the days I’ve walked in self-absorbance, prideful, unappreciative of the Lord and unwilling to throw crumbs at “the least of these” – as described in Mathew 25. All the days I’ve walked with my sights set on serving myself, instead of serving the Lord – lacking compassion for those who are oppressed – lacking a “meek and lowly heart” are illuminated in a heart-felt sorrow of the old man in my own life. This isn’t a good place to be mentally for business reasons, I realize. And maybe I’m no longer capable of being the highly competitive business-woman I once was, willing to shred another in order to prop myself up on a mountain. But as my worldly portion decreases, my love for others increases. And a little voice deep inside of me whispers the name of Jesus, as a constant reminder that in all things I face, He’s finishing my faith and working out the details of my life for the sake of my soul – not my comfort here in this short stay on Earth.
In conclusion, maybe it’s OK to not win. Maybe the temptation of pride that was set before John is the walk all of us must take at some point. John declared in chapter 3, “I must decrease and HE (Jesus) must increase.” Maybe my portion was hollow and empty, in order for me to seek and ultimately find my real portion – at the cross of Jesus Christ. We have different seasons for different stages of growth needed in us all. But the Lord promises to never leave us in a state of despair. He brings down the pride and he exalts the humble and lowly. It’s a cycle that is sometimes hard to understand. But you can rest assure that if today you feel like that woman did, calling herself a dog searching for crumbs, He knows and he’s not going to leave you there. Trust in him and believe that your day is coming!
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls.” – Mathew 11:9
For all of my realtor friends (and all of my friends) that feel like you’re begging for crumbs in a world that seems to overlook your talents, your efforts and your struggles. Never stop begging the Lord to give you your portion. He sees your heart and He will answer you. Your days of little will become days of plenty in his perfect timing.